Friday, May 15, 2009

Oh, No Way I'm Seeing That: "Dance Flick"

Welcome to “Oh, No Way I’m Seeing That,” a regular feature in which we’ll take a look at a trailer for an upcoming film, and then examine exactly why there’s absolutely no way I’ll be seeing the advertised film. In this edition: The latest Wayans Brothers abortion, “Dance Flick.”

They’re not even hiding it—the voice-over instructs us that Dance Flick is from the auspices of the Wayans Brothers, “the masterminds behind White Chicks, Little Man, and Scary Movie.” Masterminds? Seriously? What’s remarkable is that there was a time where the Wayans Brothers were responsible for things that weren’t soul-suckingly bad (like “In Living Color” and I’m Gonna Git You Sucka), but audiences stupid enough to see something as asinine as Dance Flick aren’t old enough to remember back when the Wayans name didn’t equal a film that made you want to stab your fucking eyes out with a pair of gardening shears.

And yes, I realize that the first of the Scary Movie films wasn’t that bad. But it is still a force of evil, because two of its six (six!) writers were Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the functionally retarded writer/directors of Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, and Date Movie. So kudos to the image-savvy Wayans Brothers, for calling their opus Dance Flick instead of Dance Movie, so as to separate themselves. Smart move, guys! But their movie is still gonna blow.

Keep in mind, they usually put the best jokes into the trailer—you know, the ones that make you want to see the movie. So here, we have, um… that thing where she kicks people. And the head spin that goes through the floor. And the part where the guy punches the girl out! That’s funny. Oh, and they apparently send up Flashdance, a movie that’s twenty-six years old. Timely!

But I will say this: it is an honest trailer. They do, indeed, mention that these are the people responsible for White Chicks and Little Man. If you go see Dance Flick with that knowledge in place, well, to hell with you, you got what you deserved.

And although she’s not in this version of the trailer… Amy Sedaris. How could you?

No comments:

Post a Comment