Friday, August 7, 2009

Today's New in Theaters: 8/7/09

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: It's the movie so good, they couldn't spoil it with those pesky critics. "We want audiences to define this film," claims Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures. Yeah, that's usually why studios bypass advance screenings, not because their movie is a steaming pile of runny dogshit. I can't imagine that G.I. Joe wouldn't be good-- I mean, after all, it's a movie based on a cartoon based on a toy line, and it's directed by Stephen Sommers (the auteur behind the Mummy movies and Van Helsing). How could it not be totally awesome? Orndorf waited to see it with one of those movie-defining "audiences" and filed a review at DVD Talk that pretty much confirmed everything I suspect about the picture's quality. Plus, I found out for the first time in his review that Marlon Wayans is in it, one of the few pieces of information that makes me want to see it even less.

Julie & Julia: It's got Meryl Streep, it's got Amy Adams, it's got a clever premise and a funny trailer. Why am I not seeing Julie & Julia? Two words: Nora Ephron. She hasn't had a credit in a legitimately good movie for two decades now (that'd be When Harry Met Sally); in the interim, she's burdened us with dreck like You've Got Mail, Michael, Bewitched, Hanging Up, and Lucky Numbers. Not exactly a sterling filmography, that. According to Ebert, Julie & Julia is a pretty bland sauce. My friend Charity gives it higher marks.

Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rocks: Oh, Robert Rodriguez. It's nice that you want to make movies for your kids. I just don't want to see them. (Interesting how, the very week his new, crappy-looking kids movie comes out, they also announce the full cast for his presumably R-rated Grindhouse spin-off, Machete. It's as if that was specifically timed for people who like the guy and wonder why he's putting out this garbage. I'm sure the timing is just a coincidence!)

A Perfect Getaway: As much as I like the cast (Steve Zahn and Tim Olyphant are in it), the trailers for this one sure do make it feel like a late-summer burn-0ff. Might give it a look on DVD, but that's about it.

Cold Souls: So this one looks interesting. I'll see just about anything Paul Giamatti does, and the idea of him pulling a Being John Malkovich certainly sounds like it would be worth your time.

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