Friday, September 11, 2009

Today's New in Theaters- 9/11/09

Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself: Ugh, this fucking guy. Tyler Perry has built an empire by serving an audience so starved for entertainment, they'll lap up the steaming dogshit he serves them just because it's on a dinner plate. He's a bad actor, a terrible director, and a ghastly screenwriter, but none of these offenses would bother me (there's plenty of all three floating around) were it not for his bloated ego. Who the fuck puts their name in the titles of all of their movies? It's not Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island or The Coen Brothers' A Serious Man or Steven Soderbergh's The Informant!, and those are all filmmakers of greater natural talent, accomplishment, and skill than Perry could ever dream of; I'll watch their worst films a hundred times over before taking one look at his best. Fuck that guy, and fuck his new movie. (And, okay, fine, if you need a real "review" by someone who actually "saw the movie", here.)

9: So this one looks interesting, at least on a visual level, and the voice talent assembled is impressive. Ebert gives it a thumbs-up.

Sorority Row: You'll never believe it, but they remade a horror movie from the '80s! I KNOW, RIGHT? Orndorf gives it a no-star review-- in spite of the presence of Carrie Fisher.

Whiteout: You'll never believe it, but they made a film adaptation of a comic book! I KNOW, RIGHT? I will say that this one looks intriguing, and Beckinsale is on a good run lately (after Snow Angels and Nothing But the Truth); Rich at DVD Talk, who I usually agree with, recommends it.

No Impact Man: This eco-doc could have been a long slog of liberal posturing, but it's a surprisingly thoughtful and funny examination of a man who decided to put his money where his mouth was, environmentally speaking.


  1. I said to someone this morning that I feel like I am on a lonely ice flow in terms of WHITEOUT. 2% at Rotten Tomatoes? Even if all the complaints I have are enough to make you not like the flick, I think the ire it's receiving is a bit overstated. It seems more like a "meh" movie, especially given that it's being released amidst stuff like GAMER and that Sandra Bullock stinker.

    By the way, curious to find out if you loved THE INFORMANT! as much as I did.

  2. I know this is a bit of a reach back, but I still can't find one damned thing not to like about "Playing God" with Duchovny and Angelina Jolie, and NOBODY liked that flick.

    Not too embarassing that I originally wrote "The Informer" instead of "The Informant!". Good Lord. Anyway, I don't get to see it until two days before opening, but I'll write it up as soon as I do.

  3. You better work, Bailey! Four words that made me laugh for nearly an hour -- four words i couldn't agree with more: "Ugh, this fucking guy."

  4. LOL. I've been amazed and relieved by all of the Perry-hate this post has generated here and on Facebook.