Welcome to “Oh, No Way I’m Seeing That,” a regular feature in which we take a look at a trailer for an upcoming film, and then examine exactly why there’s absolutely no way we’ll be seeing the advertised film. In this edition: Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl action/comedy "Killers":
First things first: On the list of things that a Talking Heads song should accompany, the trailer for an Ashton Kutcher/Katherine Heigl collaboration should not appear. That group was about breaking ground and inventive new sounds; these two are like celebrity robots, people we’re assured are worth our attention despite all evidence to the contrary, and this story has been done so many times, it’s not even the only version to come out this year.
Second thing: It’s directed by Robert Luketic, who directed… let’s see here… ah. Monster-In-Law and The Ugly Truth.
Third thing: There is no third thing. You’re not seriously considering seeing this, are you?