Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Golden Globe Nominations Spotlight Why No One Takes Golden Globes Seriously

Conventional Hollywood wisdom held that True Grit, Somewhere, and maybe The Town would pull down some kudos come awards season, so thank God we've got the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to be all, "Hey dudes, how about Burlesque? And Red? And did you see The Tourist? It's got Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in it, and boy are they easy on the eyes, eh? Hey, did Johnny Depp do anything else we can nominate him for?"

Now, yes, part of this is due to their weirdo splitting of films into Drama and Musical/Comedy categories, but seriously guys, when you're down to nominating Alice in Wonderland for any division of "Best Picture," it's time to rethink your paradigm. And does anyone besides these people consider The Tourist to be either a musical or a comedy?

Anyway, if you're so hungry for the Oscar derby to start that you'd like to read a bunch of entirely inconsequential nominations that won't affect anything, hey, I'm at you're service:

Best Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
The King’s Speech
The Social Network
Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter
Best Actress, Drama
Halle Berry, Frankie & Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine
Best Actor, Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter
Best Musical or Comedy
Alice in Wonderland
The Kids Are All Right
The Tourist
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love & Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love & Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom
Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech
Best Screenplay
Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
Christopher Nolan, Inception
Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids Are All Right
David Seidler, The King’s Speech
Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, 127 Hours
Best Original Song
“You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me,” by Diane Warren, Burlesque
“Bound to You,” Burlesque
“Coming Home”, Country Strong
“I See The Light,” by Alan Menken, Tangled
“There’s a Place For Us,” Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Best Animated Film
Toy Story 3
How To Train Your Dragon
Despicable Me
The Illusionist
Best Foreign-Language Film
I Am Love
The Concert
The Edge
In a Better World

So if you're keeping score:
Burlesque- 3 nominations
Alice in Wonderland- 2 nominations
True Grit- 0 nominations

The Golden Globes are a bellwether!

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